Fire
by Autum
Summary: I had destined myself for a glacial world and all I could think about was how much I wanted hellfire, how much I needed passion in the face of an eternity of restraint. If only once. JakeXBella Oneshot.
1. Fire

**A/N: Not enough Jake and Bella stories out there. Bella is a bit out of character, but I'm not too heartbroken about it – this is how I wanted Bella to be in the books. So there you go.**

Had the situation been different, I would have let him fuck me. Fuck me so hard the bed shook the wall shook the house shook the _ground_. People would have felt it, you know? Felt the rhythm shaking their bones the way that one feels the heartbeat bass of a song at concert. He was all angles and corners and honesty, thrusting down towards me in an effort to get-off, to get me off. His shins banged on the bed-frame because the mattress was too small and his elbows clunked against the wall because the space was too tight, but he sucked my neck and caressed my chest and thrust down down down anyway.

I had been so content with ice, in all of its pristine perfection, despite its drawbacks. But I knew what I wanted, what I needed, at least once in my life: fire. His mouth was fire against my mouth and stomach and inner thigh. His hands drew lines of fire down my spine and over my ass and down the length of my thigh and calf and foot. His breath was fire, spoke fire, against the thin skin of the shell of my ear. But it wasn't enough. His heat was pressed between us, a flame stiff against my belly, and I needed it within me.

I had destined myself for a glacial world and all I could think about was how much I wanted hellfire, how much I needed passion in the face of an eternity of restraint.

If only once.

Ultimately, it wasn't Edward or Alice or Charlie or my pending eternity as a vampire or anything that made us stop. It was the simple, normal teenage frustration – a lack of protection. Without a condom, I wasn't about to do anything with Jake, no matter how fantastic his russet skin felt against mine. But who knew if this would happen again, and I had to tell him what I felt, needed to push him right up to the edge, make him _remember_.

"Jake," I breathed, hot into his ear. His heartbeat pounded in his chest erratically, and I pressed against him, shifting to increase the friction between our thighs. "I want you –"

He buried his face in my neck, into my hair, frustrated and sincere. "I want you too."

"No, I mean - " I trailed my way down his neck to his collar bone, " – I want you to - " under his neck, across to pulse point behind his other ear, whispering my secret into his brain, " – _fuck _me - " My teeth scraped his earlobe. " - Hard."

A moan escaped his lips.

"Under different circumstances, of course, - " I ground my hips against his, "- I would want you to fuck me - " and drew my right leg up his calf and over his straining thigh to pull his ass against me more firmly, "- so hard that Billy would hear it, even far away in the house as his is…"

"I would, too," he breathed, assertive and confident, gripping my leg to his body. He wasn't lying, and I knew it. The next time, assuming that there was a next time, he would not be so unprepared and I would not be in a situation so easy, so safe.

Feeling him arch above me, the pressure building in my lower stomach, I decided that I'm not so sure I like safe

If anything, I like fire.


	2. Ice

He knew. He knew when I didn't come back that night, when I opted to sleep at the reservation instead of at home. He knew when I didn't answer his midnight call, and when I didn't call him back in the morning. He knew the instant he saw my face, the moment he climbed through my window, nose quivering.

"You smell like dog," he muttered through visibly clenched teeth. Fuck, he was so beautiful. Flashing black eyes stood stark against his smooth face, which was pale parchment, lineless and clean, a vestige of perpetual youth – though, I'm sure that if he were alive, the vein of his temple would have been thumping red blood aggressively.

The intensity of his gaze was physically painful; I dropped my eyes to my floor. "Hey," I mumbled to the ruined face of a bald, rehab-bound Britney Spears, who happened to grace the cover of People's magazine, an island in the blue ocean of my carpet.

"Bella," he growled warningly, forcing my gaze up to meet his. "You mind telling me where you were last night?" It was not a question.

"I got tired." _I want you to fuck me. Hard._ My cheeks flushed a traitorous red at the memory.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Well, kind of. Jake and I stayed up late." _I would, too,_ he had moaned. I bit my lip."We listened to music." That was all true; so far so good.

He huffed impatiently. "Look, Isabella Swan. I might not be able to read your mind, but I can definitely hear all the dirty, perverse thoughts of Jacob Black, especially when he's practically _fucking_ you. So don't you try to lie to me."

Wincing, I made a mental note. Don't try to trick your mindreading vampire boyfriend, who is both strong enough to tear you and your werewolf best friend, with whom you just hooked-up, limb from limb. Oh, and who also controls whether or not you get to become a vampire and live (or not live, really) happily ever after. Check.

"I love you, Edward. I really do." Edward snorted. "I'm serious, I can't _live_ without you, you know that."

"But…" His jaw clenched.

My eyes pleaded for his to understand. "But, I just, and I don't know how to say this without proving your point for you, I need to be _human_ before I die. I want to feel and to hurt and to be with someone who isn't thinking about controlling himself when he's with me. Who can be with me fully, who isn't half-thinking about self control, who can kiss my neck without thinking about drinking my blood. And Jake can do that." I left out the corresponding phrase, but it rang just as loud in the room: _and you can't_.

Edward grabbed one of my arms away from where they hugged my torso, sliding his cold fingers down my lower arm to my wrist. I shivered from the shock of it, the pleasure of it.

"Maybe," he whispered, "maybe we should leave this alone. I love you, Bella. But I don't think that it's enough."

My voice garbled unintelligibly in the back of my throat. I pushed myself forward, desperate to convince him otherwise, and pulled at his neck to bring his lips to my lips. I pressed my self flush to him, trying to mold my soft body to his granite one – I could be anything he wanted me to be, would be anything he could dream of.

He didn't kiss me back.

Impatient, I stepped away from him, and before he could react, pulled my shirt and bra off over my head. My shoulders squared and my chin lifted defiantly – I looked at him bare-chested, daring him to leave. Had Edward been a few decades younger and less refined, I'm sure he would have gaped at me, or moved forward to feel my skin, or reacted in some way other than to back up a few steps and avert his eyes.

"Bella. I have to go. Hunt or something. I'll call you tomorrow."

Bright red flashed heat to my cheeks, and I hooked one arm around my front to cover myself in the shame of my rejection.

Edward turned around and left without looking back.

I struggled my shirt over my head, not bothering with a bra, and reached for my cell and my car keys.

"Jake, hey… No, not really… Can I come over? … Okay, cool, I'll see you in a few."


	3. Anticipation

The square of blue foil shined like anticipation between my fingers.

I was a wolf before she hung up the phone, before her voice was lost to my ears, hot blood thumping in my veins. I ran - ran ran ran ran ran ran ran - as fast as I could, to the La Push convenience store, foot tapping with impatience while my purchase was being rung up. The eyebrows of Frank Moon were sky high, nestled below the wrinkles of his forehead and the shock of black hair on his brow, as he took in my half-clothed appearance and handed me my change.

It wouldn't take long, I knew, before everyone had heard that a shirtless Jacob Black was buying condoms at the gas station quickie mart, a phenomenon I would have preferred to keep quiet. Everyone knew everyone in La Push - it was so goddamn small - but I knew that the moment I stepped off of the reservation, I would have to deal with a very pissed off vampire. I doubt that Bella would have appreciated _that_ fight much, as fun as it would have been. Besides, the pack already knew, knew before the pads of my paws hit the ground, before the first puff of breath left my snout, before my canine heart beat one beat.

Isabella Swan was coming over and Black was buying condoms for the occasion.

**Okay, so the next part might take a bit – I want it to feel right, and not cheap. I find that the first chapters to these things are the best, because I only really intend to write them, but then my mind gets to thinking, what next?**

**I'll be honest. Bella isn't my favorite female lead of all time. The next section is started, but I am having a hard time staying true to her character without making her obnoxious and weepy. We'll see how it goes. **


	4. Full

I had never felt so _full_ before. It was not sexy, not hot, and definitely not pleasurable – nothing like the movies. Mostly, it was unfortunately unpleasant and horribly uncomfortable.

My back had arched of its own regard in a subconscious attempt to shift my hips away from his, away from that goddamn _pressure_ that was sharp below my stomach, making the rough material of the towel scratch my lower back. He had been confused when I had suggested it, but grinned wolfishly when I warned him that I might bleed, being a virgin and all. _Good thing I'm not a vampire_, he had smirked, and promptly bit my neck as proof. That hickey was the least of my worries right now, to be perfectly honest. I had known that having sex for the first time was going to be awkward, but I had never imagined it was going to hurt so freaking terribly.

"Bella? Honey?" he asked, brown eyes concerned. "I'm really sorry…"

My teeth gritted. "Don't be, really, please. I'm not, at all, not in the slightest. Just, just give me a second, okay?"

Kissing my hair, my forehead, my nose, he shushed me. "Just try to relax, sweetheart. It will be better if you relax."

_Relax, ha!_ My whole body was tense, completely ridged. I had said that I wanted fire, and _holy shit_ did this fucking burn. Taking a deep breath, I tried to unflex my core, tried to let myself get used to feeling so filled up. I could tell that Jake was anxious about the whole thing and, even as uncomfortable as I was, I really didn't want him worrying. Attempting to explain it to him, of feeling so full I could burst, I managed "It's just because you're so _big_."

Jake's eyebrows shot up and he barked a sharp laugh, shoulders shaking at the intimacy and absurdity of the moment and the statement.

I flushed a bright, hot red. "No, oh no, that's not what I meant…" But his laugh was infectious, cutting through any embarrassment I had, and I couldn't help but smile and roll my eyes. I could feel the vibrations from his chest in my toes and my breasts and my hips. Somewhere in the silliness, I had stopped hurting – the laugher felt good. Erotic. I stopped laughing.

Jake realized it the moment I did. He closed his eyes. "Bella, you feel, you feel so…"

I hushed him with a languid kiss and pressed my chest to his hot flesh. He swallowed, but remained gentlemanly still. "Jacob Black," I gasped against his mouth, rolling my hips into his to emphasize. He sucked in a breath. "I'm ready."

He pulled his hips away slightly, painstakingly slow, and then towards my skin again. Each movement sent a shock up and down my spine, each new sensation a murmur or hiss across my lips. Again, he drew out of me – a little further this time, but not by much – and, again, slowly reentered my body. I glanced to meet his eyes, which were studying my face intently, a small frown tugging down the corners of his mouth. _Was he even enjoying this? Was I? _

"I don't want to hurt you," he explained to my raised eyebrow.

Hooking a hand around his neck, I brought his ear down to my mouth. "Jake, I want you," I started breathily, licking the shell of his ear and biting softly on his earlobe. "I want you" – he stopped breathing in remembrance, his heart pounding across my chest – "to _fuck_ me. Hard."

**Okay, this went through a lot of drafts to write this, and as much as I wanted to make it steamy, I didn't want to make it trashy. Also, I fucking hate it when people write losing- virginity sex as something really commercially porn-y, all fake boobs and bleached, beach-blond hair. I wanted this to seem real. **

**Anyway, I don't intend on writing any more. I hope you enjoyed it.**


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